My Family
by VanillaMostly
Summary: I love my family but I have to say that they are all very weird... by second year 1st class Sawada Ayumi


I don't own Gokusen (even though I wish!!!)

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_My Family_

by second year 1st class Sawada Ayumi

I love my family but I have to say that they are all very weird.

My mommy is not like my friend Mari-chan's mommy, who's always dressed very nicely and talks in a soft voice when she sees me. No, my mommy is definitely _not_ like that. For one thing she likes to yell. She yelled at me for feeding old Fuji-kun cheese, which gave him really bad gas (and he likes to sleep on Mommy's bed with his butt near her face). She yelled at Kyou-chan for teaching me how to tie a cherry knot with my tongue (this I don't get why she was mad). She yelled at Uncle Tetsu for being stupid when he left his stove on and burned down part of his apartment. She yelled at Uncle Minoru for being a coward when he chickened out from proposing to his girlfriend. She yells at everyone, so much that none of us really hear her when she does it. We can always tune her out.

Mommy also does not like to wear dresses or makeup or jewlery. She likes to wear sweatpants, her glasses, and sneakers. Kyou-chan showed me a picture of her before she had me and she looks exactly the same. On some special days (New Year's and "succession ceremony" days) she wears a kimono and has her hair piled up on her head. But even like that, guys on the street look at her and flinch in fear (but that might have to do with the fact that they've witnessed her beating up this nasty man to a steaming pulp when he tried to hit on her).

Daddy _looks_ like a normal daddy. Well, maybe not that normal because when he came to my teacher conference last year my teacher acted strange around him, blushing and patting her hair constantly. But he's very weird too. A lot of people call him "Red Lion Young Master." I've never seen anyone call Mari-chan's dad a nickname like that. And even though he's very calm, the complete opposite of Mommy (he never yells at me or anyone), he gets super annoyed by some things. Like whenever anyone mentions the name "Shinohara-san." I don't know why, since Uncle Shinohara is so nice (he visited us two years ago with his family and brought an ice cream cake).

My Uncle Kyou-chan is also weird. He's not actually related to Mommy or Daddy, but he's my godfather because he "got my parents together to make me," or so he loves to say. He doesn't live with us but visits us way too much and sleeps over also way too much, so I can't _not_ count him as family. He's really old but he acts like a little kid, so I call him "Kyou-chan". When I want to annoy him I call him "Old Baldie Pervert". I don't know what "pervert" means but Mommy always calls him that. Kyou-chan is nice to me though. He teaches me cool stuff like that trick with the cherry and tells me funny stories about Daddy and Mommy from their younger days. Kyou-chan isn't married even though I always see him with a girl (a different one each week it seems). I'm really worried he's going to die a lonely old baldie but Mommy says that if Kyou-chan gets married he'll probably get stabbed to death by his wife one day when she sees him cheating, so the way he's living now is the safest for him.

Great-granddaddy is Mommy's granddaddy. He lives with us in our big house, so I see him way more often than I see Daddy's parents (they live in a rich-looking house and we visit them during big holidays). Great-granddaddy's weird and not at _all_ like Mari-chan's great-granddaddy, who's got fake teeth and quivers when he tries to talk and doesn't know what's 2+2. My great-granddaddy, though, is old and has white hair but he's really strong. He doesn't have any fake teeth (although he does have a really cool tattoo on his back). He practices with a wooden sword in his room everyday. He does push-ups. He's also really smart because when these people come to our house to talk to Daddy, they'll always bow and stuff when they see Great-granddaddy and sometimes even ask _him_ for advice. Daddy and Mommy ask him for advice a lot of the times, too, about their "territory" and something-something's "boss" and stuff like that. And once when great-granddaddy walked me to school we met these really mean-looking guys causing trouble at a fruit stand. Great-granddaddy just walked up to them, cleared his throat, and they looked at him and I swear one of them wet himself as they went running away. Great-granddaddy is _scary_.

The weirdest member of my family would have to be Fuji-kun. He's a fat old dog and looks like a Fuji dog except he has a horse tail for some reason. He doesn't do much except eat and drink and sleep but whenever the neighbor walks his poodle by the fence he gets super puffed up and starts strutting around the yard. He's so weird. And I'm pretty sure it's _not_ my imagination that he raises his eyebrows at me and smirks and laughs and winks and does all these un-dog-ish things!!

A lot of people say I'm weird too. Like last week this stupid mean kid in gym class started making fun of me, saying the way I talked was weird (and he said I made up the word "katagi", but I totally didn't because Mommy and Daddy say it all the time). So I just threw a spinning side kick into his stomach and knocked him out. When my gym teacher came and saw what happened he took me aside and ordered me to stop using my karate moves outside of the dojo. "But I didn't learn that from a dojo, I learned it after seeing Mommy and Daddy do it!" I just said. Coach asked me if they were martial artists. I shook my head and told him, "No, they just fight a lot! So do Kyou-chan and Great-granddaddy! I've even seen my dog beat up a thief once!" Coach blinked and said, "That's... kind of weird."

I guess I'm just weird. And my entire family is really weird. But that's ok! Oh- speaking of which, I should stop writing. Kyou-chan is going to teach me how to throw an axe kick next! He says I've got a natural talent for this kind of thing.

_My family-_ THE END


End file.
